i need someone to answer this.....i need to know

look at my profile picture. i'm smiling, but not really. i'ts like a literal mask to hide how i really feel. i do it all the time. don't have any real friends at school, but i just talk to some guys every now and then. smile, have a few laughs but always hiding how i feel. i and this year i'm in the 11th grade. time is going fast, and i don't even know where it's going for me. i have had long distance relationships, but they were never real for me. no amount of pixels showing someones face on my ipod, or words through text can convince me they were ever somehing real. i never had anyone with me who was actually here where i am. alone is how i always feel, and how i was almost lucky enough to be with someone even through long distance is simply because those people don't really know me. who is there i can't be with under those circumstances? as i said, time is going by fast, and it feels like it will remain the way it is for me now, the way it has been for so long now. i watch some good movies, some action, fantasy, adventure, and most of them have a happy ending which is simply a dream for me. i do look into those things to deeply, but still, they always are so nice in the ending. some have an ending where the main characters live in peace with a family, and all that. but i always dream and wonder if that could ever be how my life turns out. songs i listen to are always the sad. i have a corner in my room, roll up the blinds and look at the stars at night listening to those sad songs. nice experience. my life is so complicated. i cant help but feel i will grow up and face challenges of adulthood by myself. is there anyone else like this? am i alone? will i always be alone? will i always feel this way?